Be Careful What You Say!!! (May 2007)

There is an interesting prayer (borrowed from Psalms) recited at the end of the Amida (silent devotion) that reads as follows: "Oh, G-d, guard my tongue from speaking evil and my lips from uttering deceit." In light of the recent backlash against Don Imus, a noted radio shock jock who uttered racist remarks about the Rutgers women's basketball team, this prayer should become a staple of our everyday behavior.

As badly as I feel for Don Imus as a person (he actually did many wonderful things for others), I am glad that his negative comments bothered a lot of people. Imus's defense was, "Others do it, so why can't I?" He has a point. Those listening to him and to other airwave provocateurs, comedians, and popular singers realize how ubiquitous such language is. It is used—along with all the foul language these "artists" can muster—by people in the "in-crowd" (for which it has become acceptable) and by others trying to get a laugh using stereotypes of others.

Some people say that using such negative language and stereotype is a form of free speech, acceptable, it seems, when said humorously. But as we know from our own Jewish history, racist stereotypes, that may enter as comedy, often exist as hatred and violence.

Jewish scholars have an idea to help us remember the power of hateful speech. They call it "shemirat lashon," guarding how we talk. So powerful are our words—especially when turned against fellow human beings (termed "lashon ha-rah")— that such behavior is considered responsible for the destruction of our holy Temple, as if we brought this calamity on ourselves, even though we know that the Temple in Jerusalem was destroyed by anti-Semites who sought our destruction.

The fact that in this powerful prayer we ask that G-d protect our "tongue" and our "lips" from speaking evil shows how easy it is for such words to "slip" out of our mouths. That is why we recite this prayer—not once, but three times a day! Yes, indeed, it is very easy to slip into speaking derogatorily about others.

In this prayer, we are asking G-d to bring us to a higher level of awareness so that we may realize the damage caused by careless speech. Don Imus's disparaging words were truly careless. He casually lifted a stereotypical phrase that others might actually use in song and comedy and applied it to some very hard working ladies who were on a Cinderella run for the basketball tide. The words just didn't fit the example, and so a lot of people felt hurt and betrayed. People realized that if entertainers are allowed to get away with saying nasty things about others, then in the end all of us become targets, and our society turns into one giant nasty place to live.

The only way to restore respect for others is to eliminate the careless use of negative language and stereotypes and become conscious of how we treat others.

Thank you Don Imus for helping to make us all realize how much damage spewing racist stereotypes cause. Now, maybe others will think twice about what they might say. As Jews, we will continue to think about what we say at least three times a day when we recite the above-mentioned prayer.

May I suggest that you also say the prayer three times a day and teach it to others? Recovery from careless speech starts with our awareness that it is wrong—not only for ourselves but also for others. When such time comes that hateful speech is no longer fashionable and its shock value has indeed worn off, our society might get back on the road to emphasizing the importance of respecting each other. In my opinion, that day can't come too soon.

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