"Bless G-d for the Pain as you would acknowledge G-d for the Good:" When Judaism Meets Psychology (March-April 2006)The recent article in Time Magazine: "Happiness isn't Normal" (February 13,2006), which I encourage you to read, resonates well with Jewish philosophy. Not that Judaism would ever suggest that happiness isn't normal It certainly is a desirable state. The Bible says, "Ivdu et hashem b'simcha," worship G-d in joy." But perhaps achieving total happiness should not become our all consuming goal. ACT theory, the new perspective spoken of in the Time article, suggests embracing pain as part of our being, rather than trying to remove the pain completely, as is suggested by cognitive therapy. Dr. Phil, a proponent of this latter approach, tells us :o challenge our ownership of this pain and work toward eliminating it from our collection of feelings. ACT psychologists tell us that focusing on pain exclusively just forces people to obsess about it Instead, this movement would have us come to realize what other benefits and pleasures here are in our lives so that this pain would have a proper context and would not have as much power to hurt us as before*. Once these other values are acknowledged, we will learn how to treasure what is important to us and thereby concentrate less on our problems. Which therapy does Judaism embrace? Well, both, of course, traditional Judaism stresses the former. To do teshuva, to repent from wrong doing or thinking, requires one to be rid of negative thoughts and behaviors and to substitute instead a new constellation of healthier thinking and actions. Kabbalah, the popular, but ancient teachings on mysticism, argues the opposite. G-d gives us a life filled with very human experiences. Many of these can be painful But G-d also gives us the strength to respond in proportion to our capacity to deal with the pain. Rather than shun the pain completely, we must learn to understand it and even accept it as an aspect of our character and learn from it how to reshape our lives for the better. By refocusing on what we hold dear—on our values and on our beliefs—we will recognize the existence of our pain without blowing it out of proportion and having it chase us for the rest of our lives. The way we traditionally celebrate the holidays of Purim and Passover reinforce this approach—remember the pain, but focus on the good, fulfilling the Talmudic dictum, "Bless the bad with the same gusto that you embrace the good." When the season for Purim and Pesach emerge, we do not hide the pain we as a people experience. On the contrary, we focus directly on slavery and imagine how we might have felt under that condition. But we do so in the context of understanding how we can transcend it. By focusing on mitsvot, on service to our family, our Synagogue, and our community we place the pain in abeyance and look to the positive things we can accomplish. Realizing that there will always be another Persian (now Iran) or Middle Eastern nation that wish us harm, we must do our outmost to teach about the principles of freedom, kindness, and service. Then the pain of the past—collectively and individually—will seem less important. Our happiness does truly depend on how we view the painful parts of our lives. As we drown out the name of Haman or sit down at a Passover Seder, let us be dedicated to serving as a force for the good. And may our pain and suffering not pursue Other messages from Rabbi Stern |